Wow. I haven’t written on my blog in FOREVER! Not that many people read it :P
I’ve had a couple of busy months getting a new job and starting college. A little stressful. I’m not gonna lie to you, I fell away from Him. It wasn’t a conscious thing; I just focused too much of my time on DOING things rather than BEING with Him. Slowly but surely I began to falter in Bible reading and quiet times.
I began to get grumpy and angry, I started to not trust in Him for my now or my future, my heart began to harden. Thoughts filled my mind: you’re not pretty or skinny enough, you’ve been left on the shelf, your past is sooooo bad etc. (Guess I should tell you all that I’m 29 and single. Most of my friends are married with kids. A slightly depressing thing for me. But not anymore!)
I knew God was gently speaking into my heart the past few days. Like everyone says in books and a good sermon, “He speaks to you with that still small voice.” Well that was truer than ever! He was nudging me towards Him. As I said earlier, my heart had hardened towards Him. I was feeling nothing. It was like my heart had gone dormant. Then the ‘small voice’ whispered into my heart. As we know Jesus is a gentleman. He won’t force us to do something. It took me a few days I opened my heart and listened.
I started reading some scriptures and not really feeling anything. But I kept going. Due to my lack of renewing my mind with the Word I thought that my condemning thoughts about myself, were what God thought about me. NOT TRUE. He began to replace those wrong thoughts with His…
“There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION to them which are in Christ Jesus…” Romans 8:1
That weight (that I had put on myself) was slowly being unloaded off my shoulders. I began to remember who I AM IN CHRIST. Not who I think I am, or who my parents/friends think I am or should be; but who I am in HIM.
I’d like to share a Word I received from the Lord that hopefully will encourage you also (It’s a bit long, but I sincerely hope you stay and read it all):
“You were created to love Me. You were created to serve Me. You were created to be loved by Me and You were created to be blessed by Me.
Surrender to Me. Empty yourself of this world’s concerns and you shall be filled with My presence and joy. I can’t use a vessel if it’s being used in some other worldly way. Let Me fill you, let Me be your all. I will NEVER disappoint. Never.
You are my chosen child and I have called you to ARISE. Arise, daughter (or son!) of Mine. Arise and take the land which I have given to you. Do not fear. Fear is a trick of the enemy to stop you from walking in all I have for you.
Great things are planned for you. Things you can’t yet imagine. I have provided all you need. Step into My will, into My Word and follow My Way. I will light the path ahead of you. Grip My hand and you will not falter.
I’ve been waiting for you. Come close to Me. Draw unto me and be at rest. I long for you to welcome Me in. I want to overwhelm you with my love and presence. I want to saturate you with all of Me. Draw near. Look unto Me for I have all you need.
You are my beloved. In you I marvel. My love for you is deeper than the deepest sea and higher than the moon above. Heaven could not contain my love so I came down to a sinner’s cross. Every bruise I bore said, ‘I love you’. Every whip I felt said, ‘You’re Mine.’ Every scornful thing that was said I thought of your beautiful face.
My hands that bled, bled for you. My feet that were bound, stayed bound for you. Every wince of pain I felt, I felt for you. Even as I was being raised high upon the cross, my heart cried out for You. My love for you kept Me up there. My love for you was My sole thought. I chose the cross because I chose you. I love you.”
Let every single one of those words sink into your heart and spirit. Read it as a love letter from Him to you! You are highly valued, treasured and loved.
I really hope this has encouraged someone out there. If you need someone to chat to, don’t hesitate to talk to me! It’s always great to make friends and talk about our Jesus :)
Love Es xx
